The same wife after 25 years?

“A successful marraige is falling in love over and over again…always with the same person.”

I was thinking ( a favorite hobby of mine ) about my life, particulary the last few years. I was reflecting on all the massive changes that have come my way.

In a time frame of about two and a half years, I became an empty nester, a mother-in-law, a grandmother. I also left our dear church family of 12 and a half years ( Of which my hubby had pastored),and the town and the home we had raised our family in; I drove away with my hubby and left behind two of our children, my two week old grandaughter (our first grandchild), my friends, my hat as “pastor’s wife”, my hat as a “worship-leader”, my hat as “speaker”, everything that would have defined who Karolyn had known herself to be; I (we) moved away with nothing tangible to move to or into of our own. My husband was a worn out, very tired man. The only bread crumb we held in our hands was an “inkling” that we would be living in the city of Vancouver, British Columbia.

And live there we did. We bought a little condo in the city and began a very different life!  I had been a country girl most of my life, I had never lived in city before…never lived in a condo before…..there were people EVERYWHERE, ALL THE TIME! Like ants constantly moving I felt like I was living in the middle of an ant hill.

So why all these needless details? I told you….I was thinking and thinking revealed the constant in all this change: Jesus Christ and my husband.

I could have missed this beautiful truth in all that change, in all those waves that came at my red canoe.

Jesus was “home” in my heart and my dear husband was by my side (and I by his).

Oh! Did I mention that we have just moved again? My husband has been called back to the pastorate. To a church in a town on the outskirts of Vancouver.

My red canoe has been rocked again.

Who am I now?

One of my revelations is my “wife” hat.

Through all of this, I have been a wife!! (still a mother, grandmother, but those roles have new faces now).

A wife, a “help-er”

“Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she LAUGHS at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed, her husband also, and he praises her; “many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.” Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her the fruit of her hands and let her works praise her in the gates.” (Prov.31:25-31) hmmm, could this be said of my life as I have paddled my way through all this change? I wonder….

My relationship with my husband is the most important relationship I have on earth, this side of eternity.

I remember a few years ago (when our kids were teenagers) a dear, older man from our church family pulled me aside, looked me in the eye, and proposed this question;  “You know that your husband is more important than your children don’t you?” 


I was ticked.

WHAT? Come again?!

I did not agree with this man, and I believed that as a good Scottish, English and German bred woman I should have TOLD him that! Bah! The nerve of him!


The tide of the changing moon came to my shore, and with it my secure little boat…..

I have felt like I have been saying a chronic good-bye to everything that had adhered itself to the deepest part of my heart and mind for so long now, except to my life partner…

I am a different woman today because of this journey.

I am a different wife today because of this journey.

I have been given a great gift from the Maker of heaven and earth.

My husband.

This journey I have come through was also part of God’s plan to craft into me a deeper understanding of what it means to be a wife; what it means to LOVE my husband MORE than I love my children. To VALUE his life above ALL others, and above all change.

Children leave, or you may leave them; you can move to another town, city or country, change life calling, walk through sickness, loss of income, or home, etc. etc…but if God Almighty has blessed you with a husband to walk beside you and with you through it all, then consider yourself a BLESSED woman.

Open your eyes and remember the Creator’s words from the beginning: “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and HOLD FAST to his wife, and they shall BECOME ONE FLESH.” (Gen.2:24)

ONE flesh…”thank you Father in Heaven for my husband! Enable me to do well at cherishing my husband, and that I would do him good and not harm all the days of my life, (Prov.31:12). Thank you that in all change you not only take away but you also give new mercies, my life becoming a  reflection of your love and not that of my own;  AND thank you for the courageous man who took great risk in asking the right question, propelling my mind and heart into greater love.”

“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.” (Jn. 15:13)


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s