I have been reading a most soul disturbing book; “Hudson Taylor’s Spiritual Secret”. This man’s life story is RATTLING my heart, soul and mind! It is not that my life is being rocked, but the reality of Christ in me plowing new soil….or maybe it’s not new soil, but rather an opening of my eyes to the garden that already exists within and am being called to live my life from.
It is a life of simplicity, void of what my culture shouts that I “need”. It is a simplicity that is rich, so rich in faith, in understanding the Word of God and rich in love toward God…..I suppose it’s nothing new at all; perhaps it is as simple and as difficult as being willing to go deeper or further away from seen shores, away from what is obvious to living by faith in what is unseen.
“Holy Spirit what is this beckoning I hear in my soul? What does it require of my life? The town and conditions I have been called to do not reflect those of inland China (as with Hudson Taylor’s calling), but it is a calling I and my husband clearly heard.
Is there unbelief in my heart toward YOUR work here? Have I made a sheltered tent from all the slander, complaining and criticism I have heard ?”
“Though NONE go with me, STILL I will follow”.
I have concluded that I know little of the COST of following Jesus! Hudson Taylor was a young man in his 20’s who followed Jesus with no ifs, ands, or buts. His was a life in God’s grip! Oh how I desire this!
My questions and search today are free and pure from any search for personal purpose or specific personal “role”, they are because of a crazy, crazy desire to love Jesus, to know Him and to understand His word as it was intended and given.
“O God THIS is what I ask! THIS is what I seek…YOU! YOU! YOU! I cough up and I lay down every thought or desire to be understood by fellow-man; I desire and place in action my inner house being in order, swept clean of all desires not of you, every hurt and disappointment, all selfishness and pride! I confess, I fear the cost, but I crave YOU more than whatever that fear may be! To trust you is to trust you for EVERYTHING!!”
Our time draws nigh, evening is almost here.
“But whatever gain I HAD, I count as loss for the sake of CHRIST. Indeed I count everything as loss BECAUSE OF the SURPASSING WORTH of KNOWING Christ Jesus MY LORD” (Phil. 3:7-8).
“Then Jesus told His disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life FOR MY SAKE will find it. For what will it profit a man fi he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul? For the Son of Man is going to come with his angels in the glory of his father, and then He will REPAY each person according to what he has done” (Matt. 16:24-27).