Addicted to Evaluation

As my husband and I were eating dinner out last night I caught myself evaluating the restaurant we were eating in.

It is definitely not the first time I have done this, in fact I think I do it every time I encounter a service of any kind; be it a hotel, restaurant, coffee shop and yes, even a church service.

I was caught off guard by my self realization and immediately I began to ask myself some hard questions; like why do I waste my mind space thinking about changes of improvement in any or all of these places? What good does it do driving myself nuts by inefficiency or unprofessional conduct, attire or lack of cleanliness when I am powerless to change anything?

I have also became aware of the effect my evaluative addiction has had on my emotions; I get all fired up inside at the possibility of what could be for these places of service “if this” change could be made, and then find myself left with no outlet for my passionate energy.

Another example is prior to my husband and my going out for dinner we had stayed overnight at a hotel (which shall remain unnamed).

We had decided to have a little one night get away before my husband started his new job. I was quite looking forward to this as we love staying in hotels from time to time, it adds a little spice to our 26 year old marriage.

My first indication of what awaited us in our room was given away by the front desk clerk, who upon our entry to the hotel was sitting on the counter behind the concierge eating from a bowl of “M&M’s”, he was wearing casual clothes and his buddy in training was wearing something entirely different; they were friendly enough but couldn’t answer some of our questions.

“hmmm”, I thought, “just what do we have going on here?”

Needless to say, it was an interesting night! I will spare you the details of our room!

What beauty have I been missing out on by being tuned in to improvement? Have I trained my mind and eyes to see only pie in the sky hypotheticals?

I suppose this could also be defined as a bad habit.

This type of thinking can breed a critical spirit, instead of humility and a heart oflove and thanksgiving.

Not everything needs improvement.

Nor is it my business to think that way when I have not been placed in a position to bring change.

What a time waster this can be!

What blessings, and souls of people have I missed seeing and hearing?

What has been evident in MY life as a result of this addiction to excellence? Is this a permissive form of self-promotion or even an attitude of arrogance?

Philippians 2:3-8 says,

“Do nothing from selfish AMBITION or conceit, but in humility count others as more significant than yourselves…Have THIS MIND among yourselves, which IS YOURS in Christ Jesus, who, though He was in the form of God, did not count equality with God something to be grasped, but emptied Himself, BY TAKING the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, He HUMBLED HIMSELF by becoming obedient to the point of death.”

How I pray today that Jesus transform my heart and mind to His life of servant hood, of becoming a woman who offers my heart before I offer my opinion; a woman who offers love and encouragement and praise instead of a business minded handshake of improvement.

The “human” that I am thinking of right now is Mother Teressa…she led the way through graphic human horror with the mind and love of God.

May my life do the same.

“Transform my mind O God; transform my eyes to see what YOU SEE!”

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